How to talk to your child about mental skills training?

Mindset

How to talk to your child about mental skills training?

Written By britin Thomsen

Every parent wants to see their child succeed. Seeing your child’s hard work pay off on game day is often rewarding. Oftentimes parents reach out to me sharing their observations about the differences they notice in their child’s performance in practice versus games, meets, and tournaments.

The common theme I hear is witnessing their child underperform on game day.

Recently, a mom shared with me that her son, a hockey player, is fast, quick, and aggressive at practice. He takes risks and is not afraid to out skate his teammates during his practice scrimmages.

Coaches have shared with her that he is confident and a leader on the team but holds back in games.

She went on to explain how he rises to the occasion at practice, but his game day performances do not reflect this. He plays it safe, passing the puck off to a teammate, is timid with his shots, and displays unconfident body language. She paused and said, “His speed and aggressiveness disappear. It’s like I am watching a different athlete.”

Many questions followed; “How do I help my child transfer his skills on game day?” “What is the best way to support them?” “What is the best way to encourage them to see a sport psychology professional?”

ROLE OF A PARENT IN SPORTS

Most parents have very good intentions when it comes to supporting their child. When it comes to the mental side of sport, parents have a critical role.

First thing first, continue to love your child whether they play to their ability on game day or not. Support them, encourage them, and remind them they are loved no matter what. The best thing for a parent who has a child in sport is to be their parent. Not their coach, therapist, or doctor.

You are there to encourage, provide them with positive encouragement, and reinforce lessons and directions from their coach.

LEAVE IT TO THE PROFESSIONALS

Seeing your child underperform can be heartbreaking and even disappointing. Most parents want the best for their child. A mental performance consultant can help bridge the gap between excelling at practice and underperforming in games.

Introducing mental skills training to your athlete does not have to be scary. Seeing a sport psychology professional, often referred as Certified Mental Performance Consultant™ or sport psychologist ¹, is an opportunity for them to build their mental muscle.

HIGHLIGHT THEIR EFFORT VERSUS OUTCOMES

Parents, and even coaches make the mistake of praising their child’s performance outcomes. This may be the number of points they contributed to a given game, the number of hits they had on the field, or the scores they received on their performance (skating, gymnastics, diving, etc.).

This can send the message that their worth is tied to their achievement.

Instead, praise them on their work ethic in practice and games. Let them know you see how hard they are working. Lean into your parent role and provide them positive encouragement for their efforts.

YOUR MIND IS LIKE A MUSCLE

Athletes spend endless hours training the physical side of their sport. Even at the youth level, athletes are training more than ever before. This may include regular practice times, scheduled scrimmages, cross training like weight training, yoga, and cardio, and sport-specific conditioning.

Most athletes would agree there is a mental component to their sport. When I first meet with athletes, I often ask them what percentage of their sport is mental. Some say 90% whereas others say 50%. I have yet to meet an athlete who said there is not a mental component to their sport.

With there being a “mental side” to sport, athletes must train their mind. Parents, coaches, and consultants can encourage athletes to train their mind like any other muscle in their body. A mental performance consultant is someone who can help your child gain that competitive edge.

Whether your child sees their sport as 10% mental or 90% mental, a mental performance consultant can help them build that mental muscle.

WHAT ARE MENTAL SKILLS?

There are a number of mental skills that athletes can add to their mental skills toolbox. Consultants teach athletes how to use their thoughts to work for them, rather than against them. Positive and instructional self-talk, among the many skills can help improve focus, confidence, and reduce performance anxiety.

The foundational mental skills needed to meet the mental demands of sport include goal setting, self-talk, relaxation, imagery, focus, and routines (Vealey et al., 1998). A mental performance consultant will help your child understand what they are, how they are used, and why they are important to their performance.

The use of mental skills should be incorporated when physical training begins. Introducing mental skills early in their athletic career will help cultivate awareness on how they practice and compete and facilitate a growth mindset (more of this to come).

Even if your athlete is in the midst of their season, a mental performance coach can help them recognize the skills they have and teach them the skills to optimize their potential.

BENEFITS TO MENTAL SKILLS TRAINING

Mental skills training is rooted in evidence-based practices and interventions. Certified mental performance consultants work with athletes and performers of a variety of age and skills levels.

Benefits include ^{2 3 4} :

Improved concentration and focus
Improved communication
Reduced performance anxiety
Increased confidence
Reduced fear of failure
Increased Sport Enjoyment

MENTAL SKILLS BEYOND SPORT

The mental skills athletes acquire while working with a consultant can be applied outside of sport, such as to school, relationships, and future workspaces.

Sports are a vehicle to learning, and the lessons that are learned on the field, rink, court, or pool can be applied to life after sport. The skills aided in the child’s development can serve them in many domains.

For example, using regulation skills, such as breathing or mindfulness before presenting a speech in class. Incorporating positive self-talk when they are doubting their capability when working on a challenging assignment. Or using imagery to rehearse interview responses before their first high school job.

TAKEAWAYS FOR PARENTS

Lean into your parent role. Remind your child of their efforts, work ethic, and dedication does not go unnoticed.
Normalize that sports have a mental side that can be trained like a muscle.
A Certified Mental Performance Consultant has specialized training to help athletes improve their mental muscle by teaching athletes’ mental skills.
There are many benefits to mental skills training, such as improved focus and concentration, reduced performance anxiety, and increased sport enjoyment.
Mental skills can be applied outside of sport.

About the author

Britin Thomsen

Britin is a mental performance consultant and pre-licensed therapist. During college, she was a team captain and All American for the swim and drive team at St. Cloud State. She eventually completed her M.A. in Sport & Exercise Psychology and her M.S. in Mental health Counseling from Minnesota State University, Mankato.

1. Association for Applied Sport Psychology

2. Daw, J., & Burton, D. (1994). Evaluation of a Comprehensive Psychological Skills Training Program for Collegiate Tennis Players. Sport Psychologist, 8(1), 37–57.

3. Dohme, L.-C., Piggott, D., Backhouse, S., & Morgan, G. (2019). Psychological Skills and Characteristics Facilitative of Youth Athletes’ Development: A Systematic Review. Sport Psychologist, 33(4), 261–275.

4. Vealey, R. S., Hayashi, S. W., Garner-Holman, M., & Giacobbi, P. (1998). Sources of sport confidence: Conceptualization and instrument development. Journal of Sport & Exercise Psychology, 20(1), 54.

1317 Marshall St NE

Minneapolis, MN 55413

United States

On a mission to protect the power of sport for the next generation of athletes.

Mindset